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Haunted Cruise
"We go on a cruise......"
Starring:
FRODO
SAM
MERRY
PIPPIN
LEGOLAS
HALDIR
GLORFINDEL
FIGWIT
GIMLI
THE INFAMOUS JACK SPARROW
WILL TURNER
KATHLEEN
SABRI
KISA
KENDALL
CAPTAIN BARBOSSA
RANDOM PIRATES
ELIZABETH
[The whole gang decides to go on a cruise to New Zealand. They don't know,
however, that the ship they are going on is the notorious cursed Black
Pearl. We join them now in a bus, riding to the dock.]
Frodo: Okay, so where are we going again?
Merry: To wherever the wind takes us!
Sabri: o.O We're going to New Zealand, by boat.
Frodo: Oh, that's nice. I think this is going to be good. I need a relaxing
vacation this time!
Kitty: WOOHOO! I am pumped!
Glorfi: WORD……to the Father!
Legolas: *in front seat* I can see the dock!
Figwit: What does the ship look like?
Legolas: Um... it's big, with black sails!
All: O.O
Pippin: Wow, I didn't picture it like this!
Merry: I know, look at the sails!
Sam: They're all torn!
Sabri: I think I feel sick...
Katie: Me too!
Kendall: Why are you sick, it's just a boat!
Frodo: Me too.......
Kendall: ..........OOGAH BOOGAH!
Frodo: O.O *leaps into Kisa's arms....
Kisa: Ohhh...*huggles Frodo*
Frodo: ......can't......breathe....
Kisa: Oh yeah, Sorry, I keep forgettinig! Gentle huggles, right!
Frodo: *pant, gasp, wheeze*
Bus Driver: We're here!
Pippin: O.O I don't like that ship! *leaps into Sabri's arms*
Sabri: o.O
Legolas: OK, come on, we have to unload!
Kendall: Okay, lets go and KICK SOME-
Kisa: *covers his mouth* What are you talking about?! Ok, come on Frodo
*walks with Frodo still in her arms*
Katie: HALDIR HERE ARE YOUR BAGS!
Figwit: Cool, we're here! *does a skip/jump, trips on the step coming out
the bus and falls flat on his face*
Haldir: *walks on Figwit as he comes out*
Figwit: *mmph* OOWWWWW
Haldir: O.O what the... *looks down, and starts laughing really hard*
Figwit: HEY *whimper*
Sabri: *helps Figwit up and brushes him off* Are you okay? Anything broken?
Figwit: *shakes his head* I don't think so....
Sabri: Okay, good. Lets go.
Legolas: *carrying all the luggage* Hey, a little help over here!
Katie: Oh, Sorry Legolas, here!
Kendall: *takes a bag and opens it* Oooo, there's some cool stuff in here!
Haldir: *grabs bag* HEY! That's mine!
Kendall: Sorry Haldir *takes another peek before closing it* *picks up
stick, breaks it in half, puts one half on either side so it appears he was
stabbed* ACK! I'm DYING! SAVE ME ARWEN!
Glorfi: o.O You're messed up, dude.
Kisa: Oh, Kendall, stop obsessing over her!
Sabri: *picks up Kendall's bag and hands it to him* Here, a little job for
you to keep yourself out of trouble.
All: *loads up there dollies and goes on the ship*
Sabri: Hey guys, am I the only one who is having a dega vu about this ship?
[After everybody gets on the boat-er ship, they find their rooms]
Kisa: This ship is creepy... cool, but creepy...
Katie: Yeah, like pirates owned this once before.
Frodo: What do you mean cool?! *wraps his arms around Kisa's neck tightly*
Kisa: Ack! I...can't.... breathe!
Sabri: That sounds familiar...
Legolas: *goes into a room, turns around and a skeleton hand reaches out for
him* SHRRIIIIEEEEKK!!!
Kendall: *snicker* Gotchya!
Legolas: *grabs Kendall by the shirt* I am gonna-
Sabri: *walks in* Hey, what the...? Legolas, put him down!
Haldir: *in a whisper* [to Sabri] And Legolas is my roommate!
Katie: Who am I roommates with?? ACK! Glorfindel!
Glorfi: Hey, it's cool! I'm down wit' dat!
Katie: *smiles big*
Sabri: Okay, and Kisa, Kendall is your roommate.
Frodo: I'm not letting go!
Sabri: Okay then, Frodo is your roommate.
Kisa: *huggles frodo* Okay! *grin*
Sabri: Okay, and it's Merry/Pippin, Sam/Figwit, and let's try Gimli and Kendall-
Gimli: I'd rather be alone, thank you.
Sabri: Oh, so it's Kendall and.....O.O
Kendall: *big, evil grin*
Katie: AH-HA
Sabri: You'd better not try anything funny! Get rid of that rubber skeleton
hand!
All: *snicker*
Kendall: Aaaw...
Kisa: That's right, and I'll throw it off the ship
Kendall: No, don't do that! It's my precious!
Kisa: Then don't do anything to Sabri!
Haldir: You're a sick person Kendall, you know that?!
Kendall: Yes!
Sam: Why don't we all go check out the rooms and decide where we're going to
sleep?
Merry: OK!
Pippin: I want to see the kitchen!
*All go tromping off in different directions*
Kendall: *walks into a dark, musty room with books on pirate legends and
curses along the wall* I want this room!
Sabri: *peers in* O.O This one?! Are you sure?!
Glorfi: Yo, I want this room!
Katie: What's in it? What does it look like?
Glorfi: Well, dude-er dudet, it's kinda plain, there's a few chairs and beds in this
room!
[As Haldir and Legolas search for a room Haldir goes into a room with maps,
books, tables, and chairs...when Legolas comes into the room, he is
confronted by "a rat the size of Britain" and shrieks, driving the rodent up
Haldir's pant leg]
Haldir: AHHHHHHHHHH GET IT OUT!!!!
Legolas: GIMLI, HELP HALDIR!!!
Gimli: *runs in* WHAT????
Haldir: *sees ax* NOO! Don't help!
Legolas: DO something!
Haldir: No, stay righ there!
Gimli: *confused* Will you make up your minds?!
Haldir: AI! It's coming up my shirt!
Pippin: [runs in with hammer] I'll help you Haldir! [swings]
Legolas: O.O Pippin, NO! *THUD* Too late…..
Pippin: *hits Haldir in the stomach*
Haldir: O.O [falls over wheezing]
Pippin: Did I hit it?
Haldir: *cough, gasp* Yes *pulls out rat* EEEWWWWWWW
*Kendall and Sabri run in*
Kendall: Hahaha! Pansy
Sabri: What is going on....... O.O Nevermind! I never asked!
Katie: *runs in* WHAT THE....? Oh my gosh, EEEWWWWWWWW
Kitty: [walks in with arms full of things] Hey y'all, I found some-
HALDIR!!! [runs over and huggles him] Are you okay??
Glorfindel: *walks in* Dude, you should see the- O.O Whoa, what happened?!
Pippin: *walks over to see what kitty dropped* FOOD!
Kitty: WAIT, PIP! DON'T EAT THAT!
Merry: *walks in and see Haldir and starts to go over but sees the food*
FOOD!
Pippin: WHY?
Kitty: Because! That stuff is NOT FOOD! They're MAPS, you silly hobbit! Give
me those! Look at these, they're carefully charted. Somebody's lookin' for
somethin'... I'm not sure if we should find out... So I'm going to look
around some more and find out!
Sabri: O.O You don't think that they're..... *gasp*
Legolas: What, what do you think they are?!
Sabri: *shrugs* I dunno.
Kitty: [in a whisper] Pirates!
All: *gasp*
Haldir: Pirates? Aren't we being a bit silly?
Katie: I dont know, this is a creepy boa-er ship!
Pippin: Think about it! We haven't seen a crew!
Legolas: No, I haven't
Sabri: O.O Okay, let's turn the ship around!
Merry: How?
Katie: I dunno.
Figwit: *tries to turn the helm, but it breaks into thousands of pieces*
Ooops....
All: O.O
Kitty: FIGWIT!
Figwit: What?! It wasn't my fault! Well, maybe it was just a little my
fault...
Frodo: [walks in with a worried look] What are we doing?
All: *in a little shock*
Frodo: What?
Sabri: Frodo, look around.... what do you see?
Frodo: Potential death. You?
Merry: You are such a pleasant person...
Sabri: I see a creepy, black sailed ship with no crew.
Kitty: Sh! You're scaring him!
Sabri: Katie, what do you see?
- [It turns night, there is a full moon, MUAHAHAHAHAHA]
Katie: Ummm, I see a crew of mutated pirates outside working.
Kendall: Mutated pirates, huh? Interesting... *pulls out bazooka*
Sam: [walking into the room, unaware of everything] Okay, Figwit, I chose my
bed.
Legolas: What are you doing?! Don't blow holes in the ship!
Kitty: They're CURSED, Kendall!
Sam: O.o What's goin' on?
*Barbossa walks onto scene* Welcome aboard, mateys!
Sabri: Okay, that's freaky....
[Everyone hudles together, clutching each other]
Glorfi: O.O Duuuuuuude!
Kitty: What's up, dude?
Katie: Are we a board the Black Pearl Captain Barbossa??
Barbossa: Indeed ye are, and this is my ship. Where did ye plan on going on
it?
Kitty: Places
Sabri: Well, actually... *ahem* we were going on vacation to New Zealand.
Figwit: That is, if that's alright.
Kitty: Don't TELL him! He's a pirate! No offence, sir.
Barbossa: Well, Ye be going to places, But ye be going with us
Pippin: Um, couldn't you just let us off, and we could find another ship?
Merry: Pip. Pirates.
Pippin: .....What? Ooooh.....O.O
Barbossa: For too long I've been parched of thirst and unable to quench it.
Too long I've been starving to death and haven't died. I feel nothing. Not
the wind on my face nor the spray of the sea. Nor the warmth of a woman's
flesh.
Legolas: ......What? Don't look at me!
Kitty: YOU AIN'T FEELIN' THIS WOMAN'S FLESH!! Even if I AM a wench, I still
have my decency!
Barbossa: The moonlight shows us for what we really are.
Glorfi: You can still listen to mad-phat beats though, right?
Barbossa: Here we are mates, the island! hahahahaha
Kitty: YAY! >_<
Katie: Island????
Pippin: It's New Zealand, right? *crosses fingers*
Barbossa: NO, it's the Island the we take the treasure back, and the blood
to be repaid!
Haldir: Whose blood, dare I ask?
Barbossa: Turner.....
Haldir: Turn her? [turns Kitty around]
Barbossa: No, Tur-NER!
Will Turner: *swims to ship and runs to Barbossa* HA
Females: Ooooo!
Kitty: [fans self]
CAPTAIN Jack: *already on ship in different room* DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID!
Legolas: Who is this dude? *sees his face* O.O *points arrow* GET AWAY, YOU
FREAK!
Will: O.O Freak?! Who are you calling freak?!
Legolas: You!
Glorfi: Yo, Legsie, chill, dude!!
Legolas: YOU!
Glorfi: Already am…..
Legolas: *pauses, looks Will up and down* Man, you really messed up your
hair.
Will: Excuse me?
Kitty: Legolas! Cut it out!
[The crew take everybody into the cave on the island. Inside is treasure and
the Aztec Gold!]
Gimli: *stares in awe*
Legolas: That has GOT to be the tackiest gold I have EVER seen!
All: OH SHUT UP!
Pippin: *picks up chunk of gold* *sigh* No food.... *tosses it, and it hits
Haldir in the head*
Haldir: DARN YOU, HALFLING!
Pippin: O.O
Kitty: Watch it.
Katie: POOR HALDIR
Sabri: I demand to be put on another boat! NOW!
Kitty: Yes, blood-thirsty pirates, give us another boat. We hobbits DEMAND
it, so you MUST obey! [shakes head at Sabri]
Barbossa: *tosses Sabri and Kisa hammers* Then make ye one!
Kitty: Oh gee thanks. Wait a tick... [looks at hammer in hand and an evil
grin crosses face]
Sabri: *snarl* YYAAAAHH! *charges at him, swinging hammer violantly*
Pippin: SABRI, NO!
*Figwit and Legolas hold her back, while Pippin grabs his arms around her
feet*
Frodo: Now Sabri, we must keep our heads about us! [huggles Sabri]
Haldir: This has to be the WORST vacation EVER!
Elizabeth: WILL!
Legolas: *looks at Liz and smiles* Hey, how are you doing, babe?
Liz: O.O
Will: *glare* What is wrong with you?
Legolas: nothing.......[to Elizabeth] *growl*
Sabri: You guys are pathetic...
Kitty: [head in hands]
Legolas&Will: WHAT???
Sabri: I SAID YOUR PATHETIC!
Elizabeth: Well, Will isn't!
Figwit: Watch out, she still has that hammer. *THUD*
All: Too late….
Kitty: HIT HER AGAIN!
Sabri: Oh, okay! *THUD*
Frodo: O.O
Haldir: Okay, that's enough... *grabs hammer*
Sabri: HEY! *snarl* *lunges at Haldir, and both of them fall backwards into
water*
Haldir: Look at me, I'm soaking wet!
Sabri: *glare*
Kitty: *gggrrrrroooowwwwll!* ;-) Wet elf, gotta love it
Sabri: Oh, you like that wet elf, Kitty?
Kitty: Gosh yes!
Sabri: *shoves Haldir back into water*
Haldir: O.O *grabs Sabri and pulls her in after him*
Barbossa: Ye best stop doing that, or you'll be part of the blood being
repaid!
Kitty: I'd punch you in the mouth if it'd effect you, my good son!
Sabri: You wanna bet?! Have some of this! *hurls a golden goblet at him*
*Barbossa walks towards Sabri*
Haldir: *steps in between Sabri and Barbossa* I wouldn't do that!
Kitty: [swoons]
Sabri: Aaaaaw, you're so sweeet Haldir! *huggles*
Kitty: [steals Barbossa's hat and plops it on head] HA-HAR! LOOK AT ME,
MATEY!
Merry: Woohoo! It's Captain Kitty!
Kitty: Yeah! [mocking Barbossa] Time to repay some blood, me 'earty!
All (except Barbossa): *snicker*
Frodo: Kitty...
Kitty: [hops atop a rock] Silence! Ye have not been addressed! [ducks a
thrown sabre]
Barbossa: Grapple, show her how she's supposed to behave.
Kitty: Ya-har, matey! Bring it! [does that little hand wave from the Matrix]
C'mon, Grapple, ye bilge-rat! Let's dance!
Sabri: LOOK BEHIND YOU KITTY!
Kitty: [whips around and cartwheels out of the way, picking up a sword on
the way over]
Sabri: WOOHOO!
Frodo: O.O
Kitty: C'mon, why don't you try that mess again??
Legolas: *does Matrix moves and knocks out a pirate*
Liz: [to Will] Whoa, can you do that?
Legolas: Hey Will, do the darn blood thing already!
Will: *fighting pirates* Easy for you to say!
Kitty: Yeah, Will! Make this a fair one, matey! [dodges sword blow]
Haldir: [sees a pirate sneaking up behind Sabri and head-butts him]
Sabri: Aaaw Haldir! I love ya dude! *huggles* Now go save Kitty!
Bo'sun: *Get's kitty and takes her to Barbossa*
Kitty: [fights and tears at any given place] Put me down you yellow
deck-swabber!
Bo'sun: HAHAHAHA
Kitty: [gives him a jolly good stab in the face with a knife] PUT ME DOWN!
HELP ME, FRODO!
Frodo: O.O *meep* I'll try! *throws very large rock*
Kitty: OW!
Bo'sun: *Takes knife out and keeps walking to Barbossa*
Sabri: Dude, that's messed up. O.O
Kendall: [pulls out an Uzi and let's 'er rip] WHADDUP????
Kitty: Frodo! you fought a big spider! you destroyed the One Ring! Now HELP
ME!
*rock that Frodo threw hits pirate square in the head*
Kitty: YEAH! That's my baby!
Bo'sun: *drops kitty* What in the world.... *turns to Frodo*
Frodo: EEEK!
Kitty: [knees him in the groin] DON'T YOU THREATEN MY FROFRO!
Kendall: [wince] Dude, that's so wrong
Sabri: *snicker*
Smeagol: Smeagol doess good
Smeagol: I'll ssave you!
Kitty: [lays the smackdown on Bo'sun, kung-fu style]
Smeagol: *grabbes kitty before Bo'sun kills her*
Kitty: SMEAGOL! HEY!
Kendall: [cracking up]
Smeagol: Smeagol doess good
Kitty: When'd you get here anyway??
Smeagol: We comes out from the dark and mysterious shadowses, we did
preciousssss.....
*Sabri takes a long golden staff and uses it to fling herself accross the
room, taking down the two pirates that Will was fighting*
Will: Wow, thanks!
Sabri: Just get over there and end the curse!
Kendall: Come on, Will! ya pansy!
Katie& Elizabeth: Why you little- *chases Kendall*
Sabri: *rotfl*
Kendall: C'mon, give me a break!
Katie&Elizabeth: NO!!
*Glorfi steps in and gets all glowy*
Kitty: WHOOOO, GLORFINDEL!
Sabri: Duuuude! YOU DA MAN, GLORFI!
Glorfi: GO BACK TO THE SHADOW!
Pirates: O.O
Glorfi: [still glowy] WHAT?? YOU WANNA PIECE???
*Pirates run away very quickly*
Kitty: Hey Kendall! This is inspiring me! Song lyrics are coming!
Pirates: *run to him, remembering that they're mutated*
Glorfindel: I've dealt with the undead before, y'all, come on. [gets dark as
well as glowy] BRING IT!!!! They may not be able to die, but they can fly!
*sends a couple pirates flying accross the room*
All: *cheers*
Sabri: *ducks* Hey, watch where your flingin' 'em, dude!
Kitty: [grabs a MP5] Let's see if they'll be able to stand up if I blow
their legs off...
Pippin: GO GLORFINDEL! *whispers to self* I'm hungry!
Kendall: [gets an idea and grabs his bass guitar, turning the amplifier way
up] YOU READY FOR SOME CHEST THUMPIN' TUNES???
Katie: NOOOOO!!
Bass: BOOM-DOOM-BOOMBOOM!
Pirates: [fall over...as well as everyone else...]
*Merry suddenly gets an idea...(how often does that happen? ;-) )*
Merry: NI NI NI NI!!!
Katie: OOWWWOWWWOWWOWWWWOWWW
Kendall: KITTY! YOUR GUITAR!
Sabri: Ooo, can I play too? :-D
Kitty: [pulling out guitar with an amplifier cranked to 100] Yeah, dude!!
Katie: [to Sabri] *over the music* WHY DID THEY BRING THEIR GUITARS????
Sabri: *pulls out guitar* Huh? oh, I don't know why they brought their
guitars....
Kendall: IT'S WORKIN' AIN'T IT?? WILL! GET TO WORK!!!
Haldir: PLAY IT, SABRI!
Sabri's guitar: BUM BUM BUM DABUM
Kitty's guitar: SCRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!!!!!!
Kitty: COME ON, KATIE! SING FOR US!
Katie: NOW I WILL TELL YOU WHAT I'VE DONE FOR YOU 50 THOUSAND TEARS I'VE
TRIED SCREAMING DECEIVING AND BLEEDING FOR YOU
Kitty: [to Sabri] She even knew what song to sing!
Sabri: *plays chords on her guitar furiously*
Katie: AND YOU STILL WONT HEAR ME GOING UNDER DONT WANT YOUR HAND THIS TIME
ILL SAVE MYSELF MAYBE ILL WAKE UP FOR ONCE NOT TORMENTED DAILY DEFEATED JUST
WHEN I THOUGHT I REACHED THE BOTTOM I’M DYING AGAIN
Kendall: [Bringin' the house down with them phat beats]
Katie: IM GOING UNDER DROWNING IN YOU IM FALLING FOREVER GOT TO BREAK
THROUGH
Merry: [leading head bangs]
Katie: IM GOING UNDER WHAT WILL PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY KNOW THAT IM A JESUS
FREAK
Kitty: WOOOOOOT!!!!
Katie: WHAT WILL PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY FIND THAT IT'S TRUE
Kitty: TIME IS TICKIN' AWAY! TICK-TICK-TICKIN AWAY!
Katie: I DONT REALLY CARE WHEN THEY LABLE ME A JESUS FREAK THERE AIN'T NO DISGUISING THE TRUE
Kitty: [ripping guitar like there's no tomorrow...which there may not be if
this don't work...]
Sabri: *starts singing suddenly* I don't know where i'm gonna go, all that I
know is the show's gotta go..... *guitar strumming*
All that I know is the show's gotta go.....*more guitar* ..ON!
Figwit: WOOHOO Yeah!.......wait a minute, where did they go? Didn't they
like the music?
Pippin: Guess they don't care for Death Metal and such..
Frodo: [rubbing ears] I can't see why...
*Barbossa steps out from the shadows*
Liz: SHRIEK!
Sabri: Sheesh, do you have to screech like that?
Kitty: She can't shriek like my guitar can
Guitar: SCRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Sabri: at least your guitar screeches musically...
Barbossa: Har!
Kendall: HAR YOURSELF! HAAARRRRRRR!!!! HAAARRRRHAAARHARRRRHARRR!!!! *throws
a grenade*
Grenade: *KABOOM*
Haldir: ......Where did he go?
Sabri: O.O
Will: HA! Take that! *holds up bleeding hand*
Kitty: YAY!
Katie: CAPTAIN JACK!!!
Kitty: DOUBLE YAY!
Captain Jack: HA Barbossa, The Black Pearl is MINE!!
Sabri: WILL! You did it! *runs up to him* I could kiss you! .......o.O On
second thought, I couldn't. But I will huggle you!
Katie: *goes to huggle Will* *Then goes to thank and talk to Captain Jack*
Legolas: :-P
*Sabri huggles Legolas*
*Katie joins Sabri*
Legolas: :-D
Kitty: And Frodo! You were so brave!
Frodo: What?
Kitty: ((((Frodo)))))) (((((Legolas too)))))))
Merry: Yes Frodo, top notch!
Frodo: ...What?
Pippin: He was right next to the amplifier...
Merry: Well I don't know what you did, but Kitty seems to think you did
something special...
Kitty: [glares] He saved me!
Pippin: I'm staving!
Kitty: Me too!
Katie: Lets go out and eat!!!
Haldir: WHOO! TACO BELL!!!
ALL: OH YEAH
Sabri: You like Taco Bell, Haldir?
Haldir: Yeah.
Sabri! :-D Yes! *huggles Haldir some more*
Pippin: You know, that's quite a change from earlier when you were trying to
kill him.
Kendall: I liked it better that way.
All: *GLARE*
Kendall: Well, lets get going now!
"All go to Taco Bell to eat, and all is well......"
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