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Mini Golf
STARRING:
FRODO
LEGOLAS
SAM
ARAGORN
PIPPIN
MERRY
GLORFINDEL
KATIE
SMEAGOL
SABRI
KISA
ARWEN
KENDALL
Host: GALADRIEL
[We join everybody at a Mini Golf game!]
Sabri: Okay, who brought money for putters and balls?
Legolas: You mean we have to PAY?!
Pippin: I have....a biscuit.
Merry: Oooh, give me that!
Pippin: Hey!
Sabri: *sigh* Nevermind, I'll pay. *grumble* Stop fighting! *grabs biscuit
and throws it out the window to birds* Ha! So there.
Galadriel (at desk): That will be $12.36
Sabri: *hands her a $20* And no, you may NOT keep the change!
Galadriel: *sigh*
[Galadriel hands them putters and balls]
Katie: OK, lets go!
Pippin: I want the blue ball!
Merry: No, I want it!
Pippin: I called it first!
Merry: I called it on the way here!
Pippin: You did?
Merry: Well, not out loud...
Sabri: *growwwl*
Merry and Pippin: O.O
Aragorn: Hey hey, don't fit; I'll take it! *takes blue ball and runs out the
door*
[Merry and Pippin run after him waving putters]
[ Once everybody has their putters and balls, and Sabri takes the blue ball,
we go out to the field]
Galadriel: Okay, have all of you been here before?
Frodo: Yes....
Merry: I haven't.
Galadriel: Okay, for all of our new-timers, we have a little demonstration
on the proper use of your putters.
All: Okay.
Galadriel: You may not use it for a baseball bat, and you may not use it for
a back scratcher.
Aragorn: *pause* Oh, sorry.
Galadriel: *glare* You may not hit people with it, and you may not wrap it
around trees.
Pippin: Aw nuts...
[As Galadriel explains the rules Aragorn and Legolas start playing around]
Galadriel: And most of all, you may not use it to break windows.
*CRASH*
Legolas: Oops, sorry.....
Galadriel: Are you going to pay for that?
Legolas: Uuh..... can I put it on my- I mean her *shakes head towards Sabri*
credit card?
Galadriel:Well, I could, but it seems as though you have one and YOU broke
the window!
Legolas: Aaaawww..... fine. *hand her credit card*
Galadriel: OK, you may begin! [whispers to self] I wonder what I can get?
Legolas: HEY! I HEARD THAT!
[Merry steps up to the tee, but swings too hard. The ball bounces off of a
wooden house, comes back and whacks Pippin in the forehead]
Sabri: O.O POOR PIPPIN! *runs and huggles*
Katie: PIPPIN!!!!!!!
Merry: *hides putter behind back* Ouch, poor Pippin.
Aragorn: Merry.....
Merry: What?
Dinelen: Sam: I saw you, Brandybuck! Always causing trouble...
Kisa: HEY guys, I came!
Dinelen: Frodo: O.O Oh, hello Kisa! *laughs nervously*
Kisa: [grins widely]
Smeagol: We wants the black ball, yes we does!
Sabri: Here doggy, go fetch! *tosses ball*
Smeagol: [mumbles] Stupid fat hobbitses....
Sabri: *pause* WHAT?!
[Smeagol scampers off to get ball]
Kisa: I have to warn y'all, I get pretty violent during this game...
Legolas: It's not pretty.
Kisa: What do you know??
Kendall: Now, girls, be nice...
Sabri: [slaps Kendall upside the head]
[Aragorn, being King, putts first]
Katie: Now, Aragorn, you know you're supposed to aim for the hole over there, right?
Aragorn: Shut up!
Kisa: No non-family words!
Aragorn: [rolls eyes] Anyway, Kendall threw me off!
Sabri: Sure, Aragorn.
Aragorn: He did!
Merry: No, yeah, we know.
Aragorn: [sulkily] Leave me alone.
[6 strokes later]
Glorfindel: Aiight, that's it, yo. You're at seven. Stop there. DUDE! I SAID STOP THERE!
Aragorn: I'm gettin' this thing IN!
Sam: Strider! It's just a game!
Aragorn: But Arwen's watching!
Kendall: Yeah! Arwen's watching!
Aragorn: You stop making eyes at my wife!
Kendall: Who, me?
Aragorn: Yeah, you, you creepy little pervert!
Kendall: You heard him, Pippin! Stop looking at Arwen!
Pippin: What'd I do??
Katie: Alright Aragorn, you're up to 23, you can stop now.
Aragorn: No, I want to finish!
Sabri: *grabs ball and drops it into hole* Okay, you're done now!
Aragorn: Hey, that wasn't-
Haldir: Sure it was!
Aragorn: *grumble*
[Pippin steps up to putt]
[Pippin putts]
[Pippin's ball only goes one foot]
Pippin: Aaaw, it didn't go far enough!
[Pippin putts again]
Pippin: Aaaw, it went too far!
Sabri: *growl*
Merry: Focus Pippin, you must focus!
[Pippin putts again and ball goes into hole]
[Pippin jumps up and down for joy]
Pippin: Woohoo! Who's da Hobbit?!
Merry: You are, Pip....*sigh*
[Legolas steps up]
Legolas: Focus, right..... *stands still for five minutes* *twitch twitch*
*shift shift*
Sabri: ........*twitch* AUGH! It's getting to me!
Legolas: *putts* Yeah! Got it in the hole!
Kisa: *snork* Cheaw, hole number 9!
Legolas: *pause* Aw nuts.
[Merry steps up, since it's his turn.....]
Merry: *tries to focus put focuses too hard* Oww, I need food!
Pippin: Me too!
Aragorn: You've already had breakfast! [thinks to self] Oh no, not again...
Pippin: You've already had one, yes...but
Merry: Pip, don't
Pippin: *sigh* Ok
[Frodo's turn]
Frodo: [to self] Ok, lets see....focus...
Merry&Pippin: COME ON FRODO!!!
Frodo: STOP IT!
Pippin&Merry: Aww shucks....
Kisa: *goes to huggle Frodo* Come on Frodo, remember, focus....and if you don't make it...It's huggle time!
Frodo: *gulps* [Hits the ball and makes a hole-in-one*
Kisa: Aw nuts, no huggles!
Frodo: Oh yeah, I made it!
[After Sam's turn, Haldir sachets up to the putting tee. Kendall bends over him as he lines up the shot and says in a low voice:]
Kendall: Haldir of Lorien has just stepped up to putt. This may be one of the most important shots in his life. If he makes it, he'll get respect. If he misses, he's a total loser. Now everyone be very quiet as he makes the shot.
[Haldir growls but taps the ball, which swings just around the rim of the cup]
Haldir: MORDOR!
Kendall: Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with a dufus. You heard it here first.
[Haldir cracks Kendall in the knees with his putter]
Arwen: Hey! That's not a weapon!
[Haldir throws the putter aside and grabs Kendall by the throat]
[A bit later, Haldir sinks the ball on his second shot]
Figwit: I want to go next!
Kendall: Hey! I wanted to go next!
Figwit: How do we decide who goes?
Kendall: Hmmm... Let's have a battle to the death!
Sabri: Just play rock-paper-scissors for it.
Kendall, Figwit: Okay!
[Figwit and Kendall go through the normal routine. Both do paper.]
Kendall: Now what? Do our papers battle until one sets the other on fire?
Figwit: We'll just try again.
[They try again. This time, Figwit does rock, and Kendall does scissors.]
Figwit: Ha! Rock breaks scissors!
Kendall: Maybe if this was scissors. But THIS, my friend, is a high-powered
water jet!
Figwit: O.O Oh no! The one enemy of rocks everywhere! That's not fair. *pout*
Kendall: Mehehehehe!
Sabri: [head in hands] This is one messed up game...
Katie: [to Sabri] I agree, lets do real rock-paper-scissors, with rock and paper, and scissors!
Kendall&Figwit: Fine!
[Figwit does scissors and Kendall does paper]
Kendall: Aw nuts.....
Figwit: Yay!
[Figwit putts and fits the small wooden church instead of through the hole]
Figwit: Dang it...
Kendall: *snork*
Figwit: *glares at Kendall*
Kendall: O.O
Katie: Stop it, Figwit just putt!
[Figwit fits again and doesn't make it.....again]
Figwit: gggrrrrrr
Kisa: Just calm down and focus, but not like Merry..
Merry: Hey!
Figwit: *focuses and makes it] Yes!
[Kendall's turn]
All: O.O
Sabri: [to self] Breathe breathe
Kendall: *looks at Sabri*
Sabri: What?
Kendall: *putts and makes a hole-in-one* Oh yeah, in your face Figwit!
Figwit: Hmph!
[Pippin's turn again]
Pippin: [to stomick] Don't get hungry....Too late
Merry: Come on Pip!
[Pippin hits the ball and hits it off of the small wooden windmill and hits Katie in the head]
Katie: Not again.......mother....*gets hit and falls to the ground*
Pippin: AHHH NOT AGAIN *runs off the building*
[a little while later]
Sabri: Dang, she's still out of it!
Legolas: Well, might as well keep playing, we don't have any water....
Kisa: Fine.....sorry Katie
Legolas: *hits the ball too hard and the ball pounces off the small wooden building and hurdles to the "team"*
Pippin: RUN AWAY
All: [runs off like Captain Jack while fitting Barbossa in the caves]
Ball: THUD
[the ball hits Kisa in the head]
Kisa: *THUD*
Legolas: Crud
Glorfi: Nice going dude.
Legolas: What?!
Glorfi: You knocked one of the chicks out dude!
Legolas: Well, Pippin got Katie!
Pippin: You got Kisa!
Legolas: Hmph!
And that’s all we have so far, sorry for the “suspence” ;-)
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